faith! - Penny Thomas
Sometimes in life we encounter a season when we need the support of a community more than we could have imagined. For Penny Thomas, that moment came in the 17th year of her marriage. It was the mid-2000s, and her husband, Bill Thomas, was diagnosed with ALS. Within three years, the rare neurological disease took his life. He left behind Penny, who was 44 at the time, and their two children, William, who was 9, and Elizabeth, who was 6.
“Unfortunately, sometimes things like that happen in your life and it shapes you,” Penny said.
The experience taught Penny many things, but one that stands out is the importance of community.
She and her husband were married at St. Martin’s, and like many young couples, it wasn’t until their children arrived that the pull of the church returned.
Penny had grown up going to church as a United Methodist – complete with Sunday lunches and Sunday school. Bill had grown up at St. Martin’s along with his brother Gordon (who is also featured in this edition) as part of an every-Sunday family and parents who were charter members, but participation as an adult never impacted Bill in quite the same way it did Penny, or his brother.
“Once I had William, it was very apparent that St. Martin’s was where we needed to be,” she said, recalling Sundays and holiday services full of family. “I discussed with Bill going to church and he said, ‘If you want to go to the Methodist Church, that’s fine.’ I just felt that something about St. Martin’s was where we needed to be.”
The children had been baptized at St. Martin’s, so she began helping out with Sunday school, Vacation Bible School and other child-centered activities. (Both children have since served as either acolytes, lectors or ushers, and Elizabeth is on staff at Camp Gravatt.)
“When Bill got sick everything turned on its head for us, but it also gave me a sense of what it was like to be involved with a church.”
St. Martin’s members showed up for her children, getting them to church and school events. They cleaned her gutters, and helped with other projects around their house. And in the waning days of Bill’s life, Lay Eucharistic Ministers brought Communion. The parish’s interim rector at the time, the Rev. Furman Buchanan, paid regular visits to Bill, and made sure Penny knew she could ask for things if she needed them. A meal train was established and food flowed into the Thomas home.
“I had people that I didn’t even know bringing food,” she said. “For a family who really was not that involved with this church, having people reach out to us. It floored me. I didn’t expect it. ”
Penny will be the first to tell you, the death of a loved one is not the way one wants to learn the value of a church community, but she will be forever grateful, and she hopes folks pondering church membership or involvement might consider her story.
“I think for me – just the whole thing with Bill – the church just lifted me up,” she said. “There was no pandemic. That was a personal thing. And at the time, I probably didn’t understand what community was, but now, I would just tell a family that if you are not surrounded by people and people who care, you could go down a rabbit hole, or somewhere dark that you don’t want to be.”
Penny took the pandemic in stride, continuing to work from home as an empty-nester with both children in college. She found it a break from the regular pace of life.
She knows she is fortunate to have experienced the early days of the pandemic in that way. She also thinks she got too comfortable watching church from her couch, in her pajamas with coffee in hand.
When services began being held outside on the front lawn, Penny pushed herself to try the 5 p.m. service. Sitting beneath the tent in the quiet of the early evening, she reconnected. As a member of the Altar Guild, Penny was able to help with the ever-changing service arrangements, and have private conversations with Mitch and Caitlyn as everyone stayed behind to put away items used for worship.
“There is nothing compared to talking to a live human being,” she said. “It lifts your spirits and builds you up plus there were new people who I really didn’t know, including the priests.”
Penny has continued attending the 5 p.m. service, which she finds “lovely,” but knows it may not be the one for a young family with children. Whatever service might work, Penny encourages people wrestling with returning to try one of the services.
“I felt like if I didn’t come back and do something, I’d be missing something … sometimes there are missed opportunities that you don’t know you’re going to miss,” she said.
She opted to serve on the vestry when asked because her children are living their own lives these days, and she has time. While she has served once before, she knows this period of service will be different. New challenges await. New people are part of the community, but the value of that community endures.
Penny recently had a bout with COVID. While mild, it still kept her under the weather for several days., But church folks check in.
The experience again reminded her that “I know I can call up anyone and ask them to do something for me, and they would, absolutely.”
And that is something Penny prefers not to miss, and hopes others won’t either.
Penny Thomas officially became a member of St. Martin's after her confirmation in 2009, though, prior to that date, she was married here and her children were baptized here as well. She is mom to William, 22, and Elizabeth, 19.
